“i read a study recently that people spend 12% of their lives thinking about things they won’t act on.”
thought about saying - ‘so you decided to make better use of your time
by trying to hit on me?’ or something to that effect. aware that i am
naturally a mean girl to men, i held my tongue, and instead my reply was
dry. it had no sense of my personality and yet told everything about
it; that i live in conceit, expecting to be hit on, am offended when i
am not, but have yet to figure out how to respond to the act.
was aware the whole time that my parents stood next to me and were
watching, had a vague sense of what was occurring as this man, with his
blonde hair and his scruffy beard, in his khaki pants and gray plaid
button-down, with his expected taupe backpack flirted with me the best
he could without my cooperation.
“i wonder what i could do with
all of that time,” he tried again, because i was simply standing and
nodding, acknowledging him as he spoke but keeping an eye on my parents
who were less than two yards away. “you’d have a lot more time to do
things,” i interjected dumbly, as he began to say “i want to live on
every continent.” idle banter that should’ve impressed me, if i didn’t
hate small talk, if i didn’t hate my inability to keep a casual
conversation, if my parents weren’t always constantly watching and
bothering everything i did.
my drink was ready and my mom was
bringing it to me when she noticed i was engaged. to my surprise, she
turned around. one of the first times she’d thought not to interrupt me.
“well it was nice talking to you, but i really should get back to my
i had barely said a word. i find myself wandering into
starbucks at times and wishing he would be there, so i can redeem
myself, and pretend to care, impress upon him my usual charm though the
only thing uncommon about him was that he didn’t open with ‘you’re
beautiful’. he thought about me maybe once that night and hasn’t
remembered since, but his face won’t leave my head.
"four eyes tried to hit on you?" my dad asked. i simply nodded and walked out. if you see this, four eyes, give me a second chance.