Saturday, September 22, 2012

four eyes tried to hit on you?

“i read a study recently that people spend 12% of their lives thinking about things they won’t act on.”
i thought about saying - ‘so you decided to make better use of your time by trying to hit on me?’ or something to that effect. aware that i am naturally a mean girl to men, i held my tongue, and instead my reply was dry. it had no sense of my personality and yet told everything about it; that i live in conceit, expecting to be hit on, am offended when i am not, but have yet to figure out how to respond to the act.

i was aware the whole time that my parents stood next to me and were watching, had a vague sense of what was occurring as this man, with his blonde hair and his scruffy beard, in his khaki pants and gray plaid button-down, with his expected taupe backpack flirted with me the best he could without my cooperation.

“i wonder what i could do with all of that time,” he tried again, because i was simply standing and nodding, acknowledging him as he spoke but keeping an eye on my parents who were less than two yards away. “you’d have a lot more time to do things,” i interjected dumbly, as he began to say “i want to live on every continent.” idle banter that should’ve impressed me, if i didn’t hate small talk, if i didn’t hate my inability to keep a casual conversation, if my parents weren’t always constantly watching and bothering everything i did.

my drink was ready and my mom was bringing it to me when she noticed i was engaged. to my surprise, she turned around. one of the first times she’d thought not to interrupt me. “well it was nice talking to you, but i really should get back to my parents.”

i had barely said a word. i find myself wandering into starbucks at times and wishing he would be there, so i can redeem myself, and pretend to care, impress upon him my usual charm though the only thing uncommon about him was that he didn’t open with ‘you’re beautiful’. he thought about me maybe once that night and hasn’t remembered since, but his face won’t leave my head.

"four eyes tried to hit on you?" my dad asked. i simply nodded and walked out. if you see this, four eyes, give me a second chance.

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